SmackDown Live: March 5, 2019

So this post is extremely late. One reason being that I’m still not sure exactly what happened at the end because I fell asleep and my loving husband deleted the recording. Good thing the WWE has some great recap reads and helped me to realize I didn’t miss a whole lot.

Let’s start from the beginning – Daniel Bryan is an amazing actor, mic guy, and wrestler. They aren’t really capitalizing on the last talent and keep having him being defeated in very weird ways. I don’t know if this is just what happens when you are a heel (bad guy) or if they just really want to bash his character. He is very entertaining with his Vegan Captain Planet vibe and I hope that this continues on for longer, but I feel like they are winding down on this storyline and will bring in someone annoying. Anyway, they are really pushing this Kevin Owens character on me and you know how I hate that! So this KO dude will now battle the big friend of Daniel. I think his name is Rowan. Honestly, it doesn’t matter. The whole point of this match up is to up the drama and make me want to watch Fastlane. The match was the last one and I totally missed it but all I know is that Mustafa Ali came back out so I guess he is healed up? Fine whatever. We will see what happens on Sunday but all I have to say is that in a real wrestling match KO wouldn’t stand a chance. Dude is just not my favorite.

Moving on to the other major event of the evening, R-Truth. He has mad dance skills and is hilarious in his funny John Cena fandom. Like I like this guy so much! I didn’t know that my wrestling experience was missing R-Truth but now that he is here I want him to continue on forever. I also love that apparently R-Truth is older than John Cena and he pretends that he was a child when John Cena came out. Just funny times! Anyway, my love affair with him goes the same way as most of my wrestling love affairs go – he loses. It was another match with Rey Mysterio (oh man I love him too) and Andrade (eh) and then my leave favorite character of all time. Yes people, apparently Samoa Joe felt the need to take part in this weird title match. Ugh. I’m not even going to get too in-depth with you here, but Joe wins, and everyone is all happy which makes no sense at all. The guy plays a jerk. Jerks shouldn’t win. R-Truth should have at least a few more dance breaks before he lost the title. It is annoying and actually makes me super worried for Finn Balor and his title. If he loses it this fast I’m going to freak out. So that happened and now I’m going to just sit over here and pout about it.

Other notable things that happened:

Mandy Rose had a match with Naomi that was somewhat uneventful. When your walk-in music is cooler than your wrestling moves I think we need to rethink these story lines. I don’t fully understand why this happened and I don’t remember anything about it so I think we can just move along.

The Miz had a match against the one of the Usos which was also totally unnecessary because they are having a match at Fastlane for the Tag Team belt. The only thing that happened of interest is that one of the Usos I believe hurt his hand pretty early in the match. I spent the whole time watching said hand because I’m a mom and I worry about him. I think he might have dislocated his finger, but I don’t really know. I’m very excited to see if his hand is wrapped at Fastlane. Yeah, that’s pretty much the excitement of this match.

The NXT people Aleister and Ricochet were on again but I’m so beyond tired of these people at this point I’m not even going to talk about them. I do love The Bar though. Those guys are money. We need more Cesario in our lives. I watched an older episode with him coming out in a suit like James Bond. Yes people. This was amazeballs and should be repeated all the time. Why is this not a thing anymore?? We need more suits in the WWE. Maybe we can put Finn Balor in a suit? Oh man. That would break the TV.

Coming up next is the Pay-Per-View of Fastlane!

I did a little research on this particular event and it sounds like it was brought in to keep momentum towards WrestleMania that typically happens in April – hence the word “fast”. They seem to have a lot of these coming up and there are two main events that I’m interested in: the Becky Lynch story and Daniel Bryan. I feel like these are both pretty set in stone though to be honest. I think they are going to have a three-way match with Becky-Charlotte-Ronda. The other option is Becky is “done” which they left that super vague I think to make it more exciting. Whatever. I’m just excited to see Becky back in action again! Daniel Bryan’s is not as cool for me because they make Daniel a little bit of a weenie. I hope that we see some real classic wrestling moves and submission holds on that loser Kevin Owns. It would be nice to just never see that guy again, but I don’t think that will happen. 

Also, it seems like they might have Mustafa come back. That would be fine, he is a nice enough person, but I think I would rather see him against someone like Samoa Joe (just so maybe we don’t have to see Joe again). I also am not clear on just what AJ Styles is up to. Like he just does backstage work right now. Either he is hurt, or he is getting vacation. They were all about him a few weeks ago and now nothing. 

The other question is what is going on with Kofi? Like people are all over Kofi right now and they just sent him to India. Super odd. Not the best business plan! The other Fastlane matches are The Shield versus the three mean guys, Uso vs the Miz/McMahon, Rey Myserio vs Andrade (this is a preshow one which is too bad, I love Rey), Mandy Rose vs Asuka (I kind of forget Asuka is even here). I think there are a few other ones, but I can’t seem to find a true lineup of events. It is weird, this Pay-Per-View is a little lower impact to me, but it is fine. 

I heard something about Money in the Bank coming up. That one sounds more fun to me because you get a briefcase to carry around! A BRIEFCASE. Genius.