RAW - March 25, 2019

I was really excited for this Monday’s RAW because it was my Birthday! Hooray! What a great gift to have a Finn Balor match. A lot seemed to have happened as we are t-2 weeks to WrestleMania so the storylines are either stagnant or are just building more excitement. Yeah there isn’t really much in between here, folks.

Beat the Clock is apparently a “thing” where there are several matches and the goal is to have the fastest tap out or fall. Whoever has the fastest time wins. I mean they won’t win anything, but they win. For some reason WWE decided to do this particular “thing” for Becky Lynch, Charlotte Flare, and Ronda Rousey to I guess give them something to do. They went against the Riott Squad which is not my favorite or most dynamic match up so I knew this was going to be boring. It was. In the end Becky Lynch won (but again didn’t win anything). Hooray?

Let’s get the real exciting part – Finn Balor! He had a match again with Bobby Lashely but it is a handicap match so you assume Lio Rush would be the partner. When Rush walked out in jeans I was all “Oh he isn’t wrestling” and man am I always right! Lio apparently has some sort of injury (I don’t it but okay) so Lashely has a new partner. Wait for it. JINDER MAHAL! Be careful what you wish for right? I was all up on Jinder a few weeks ago and now he is back against my favorite person. It was a very scary moment for me because Jinder is a monster. The match was set up to be one sided because poor Finn looked very tiny. In an interview, Finn said he likes the whole big versus small thing. I don’t, but I guess I don’t get to decide here. In the end Finn did some pretty awesome moves that were fast and matched the size of Jinder rather well. I’m not even going to mention the other dude. So Finn ends up winning with his great foot stomp move. It was lovely and very exciting. It means that he now gets to have a match at WrestleMania for the Intercontinental Championship. Hooray for me! While this match up is a little stale to me and honestly just not that exciting, I’m happy that Finn will at least be at WrestleMania. They would have really missed out if he didn’t. It would only make it that much more fun if he were to show up as the Demon. I also hope that Lio is banned from ringside. Dude needs to take a seat.

The other thing of note this week was this funny rivalry with Colin Jost and Michael Che from Saturday Night Live and Braun Strowman. They have teased it as Colin being disrespectful to Braun and then Braun freaking out. There was a car, and a hallway choke hold, and all sorts of fun jabs. At first, I was a little unsure of this but this week it escalated very nicely and I’m excited! First, Colin made some rude comments to Braun about him being small. Braun then invites him and Michael to take part in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. I don’t know what that is, but I think watching non-wrestlers up against actual big wrestlers is hilarious. I’m so excited to watch this part of WrestleMania and kudos to the story writing on this one! It is awesome to see Colin and Michael play their normal SNL roles and for them to play to the crowd. So good!

The last match of note was a match between Dean Ambrose and Drew McIntyre. This match was a “Last Man Standing” match which at first you think – huh? I know we have already seen these two battle and it was very brutal last time. This time apparently they upped it to not just no DQs but also you have to literally keep the person down. As in Knocked Out. Like wowzer, guys. So this match was super crazy with a lot of running into things and use of chairs and tables. You know it is going to be bad when a kendo stick is used and gets broken in half on Dean’s back. Also, there was blood on both guys. So crazy. In the end Dean lost which is kind of a thing now. I think they are doing it on purpose because he didn’t renew his contract. Also, Drew is crazy. So there’s that.

Other stuff that happened that I guess people care about:

• Bayley and Sasha had a match with Natalya and Glamazon. I don’t know her name, they just call her the Glamazon. The match was DQed because of course the two mean girls showed up and messed it up (Nia and Tamina). I think these matches are setting up for something in WrestleMania. Something about a triple match or something for the titles. I am kind of over it so there you go.
• Baron Corbin had a match against Apollo which I don’t know why. It was odd.
• Roman Reigns accepted his match with Drew McIntyre for WrestleMania. Fine.
• Samoa Joe shows up for a match with Kurt Angle. At this point, all of these matches are just people that Kurt is friends with that agree to have matches with him and lose. I think Joe must be a nice guy in real life but I can’t get behind him.
• Triple H read a letter from the guy from Guardians of the Galaxy. I like Triple H and his microphone work so it was fine but the entire match is weird to me because they are both probably too old to be doing this.