SmackDown Live - March 26, 2019

Kofi Mania is in full swing right now which is why they devoted pretty much the entire show to Kofi. Before we get into that, we should probably start a little with the other stuff that happened and then end with this whole Kofi story.

Asuka has a title match against Charlotte Flair. I’m not sure how these things happen, like what makes it a title match versus just like a normal match? No one knows. Anyway, it was in the cards for Asuka to lose because she hasn’t been on the show very much. I think they were not using her very well and she has a pretty big language gap from what I can tell. It really is sad, someone who is a boring personality like Brock gets a front man but someone like Asuka doesn’t. The match was a pretty good and high energy match with a lot of slaps and body slams. In the end Charlotte wins because they have to make her seem capable of being in the three way for WrestleMania. Fine. Whatever. I like Asuka.

Kurt Angle had another farewell match with one of his friends, this time it is with AJ Styles. It was a fine match, they hugged and stuff and then had some slow moves since Kurt really shouldn’t be having matches multiple times in one week. Just saying. Anyway, Randy Orton can’t handle himself and comes out and interrupts leading to a DQ. It was fine, it helps Kurt save his body and helps move forward the match for WrestleMania with AJ. Good story, guys.

Shane McMahon and The Miz had some sort of back and forth thing to make their match seem exciting for WrestleMania. Eh. I don’t care about these people. They declared a match that is Falls Count Everywhere which means they are going to be out of the ring. Coolio. Moving on.

Finally, we are at Kofi Mania time. So we have already seen Kofi lose several times when faced with the hurdles that Vince put in front on him. It would have been super boring if they did it yet again. Instead, these amazing writers decided to get the other New Day peeps involved. There were pancakes and trombone. My favorite. So they had to do a Gauntlet Tag Team match which means they have to survive several tag teams and it will last a long time. My husband and I were expecting to see the exciting Heavy Machinery team but alas they were not called upon. Boo.

Big news though was Gallows and Anderson made a return to SmackDown so we were pretty excited about that one! As a little back story, these two were friends with Finn Balor and AJ Styles back in Japan and part of the Bullet Club (where they did this not PC hand motion). Anyway, so they came back but lost rather quickly which is not what would really happen. They are huge and just not realistic to lose. Whatever.

Next up is Nakamura and Rusev. Not my favorite team. Nakamura just moves around too much for me. This one was a little more exciting just because it lasted longer not because of the wrestlers or quality of the wrestling. There was a lot of beating up on Xavier Woods (trombone guy) because he is little. In the end they lost which was great. No more seeing them!

Waiting for the next one, The Bar music drops. YES! That sounds awesome! They come out and are their normal brutal selves. This team is pretty great because they play off of each other really well. They have several moves that are especially great where they can work together. The New Day has some but I don’t think they are that exciting. Just some weird jump moves grabbing necks. Anyway, because you need to have more people wrestling The Bar loses. They don’t like losing and also whenever a bad guy loses they usually freak out and do some sort of mean stuff. This was the case again, and The Bar beats up the New Day after the bell and leaves them hurt in the ring. Oh dear, the drama.

So at this point you are feeling sort of bad for the guys. I mean I would if I were a Kofi fan. I’m not so I’m all “where are my Heavy Machinery folks?”. So, then the music drops and it is the Uso boys. Oh dear. They come out and look all angry and then grab microphones. Huh? They basically do this whole Uso call and answer thing and they say they won’t fight because they like Kofi. Well isn’t that sweet? They forfeit. While this is happening, they show Brian and Rowan in the back and they are freaking out. Brian actually breaks a TV! Like what are you doing? So they of course now run out as the last team to fight.

Now let’s just chat for a moment about “rules”. That’s right, we are using “rules” loosely here. If for some reason you use a non-legal prop like a chair or table, you are then DQed. Well that only works for the bad guys I guess. So in the match they are getting beat and stuff and then Rowan thinks he will use a the announcers table. Oh, dear no, that would be a DQ. Then he gets thrown over the table and Big E pushes it on top of Rowan. Now this table apparently doesn’t count as a prop if you just push it over them? No one knows here. It is just weird. So the table now apparently weighs like a million pounds and Rowan can’t stand up. I’m not sure how this table that breaks apart super easy is now super solid and heavy. Sure. Rowan loses because he can’t get into the ring before the ten count. Hooray everyone freaks out because Kofi can finally go to WrestleMania! I’m not freaking out because it is a little predicable.